What do YOU Want?

Apr 23, 2015 by Jeanette Hanscome

“What sounds good to you?”

I have a hard time answering this question. When a friend and I get ready to go out for lunch and she asks where we should eat, I mean it when I say, “I doesn’t matter to me.” This can get complicated when going out with someone who also struggles with decision making. At best I might be able to come up with what I don’t want: “Anything but fast food.” If I absolutely must choose, I go with one of my fallbacks: The Little Pear or Mexican.

On Saturday, my friend Cheryl asked, “What sounds good to you?” before we headed to breakfast after Bible study. She had a big smile on her face, and I knew exactly what she was up to: this was my chance to practice calling the shots.

She knows …

I am a pleaser. No matter what I secretly want, I will go with whatever makes those I’m with happy.

As a non-driver, I’m used to going along for the ride. In some ways this is a good thing because it has made me extremely flexible, but it also means forgetting that I will occasionally be called on for a suggestion.

I’ve gotten in the habit of bowing to the strongest personality in the room.

Several years of changes that I either didn’t choose or chose out of necessity (let’s see, which hard option should I pick?) have left me surprising indecisive. I’m now at the Who am I and what do I want/like? stage.

At some point I bought into the idea that if I made a choice that didn’t turn out completely wonderful, I was responsible for blowing everyone else’s day and it reflect bad taste on my part.

            “Who picked this place?”

            “Jeanette.”

            “Oh my gosh! I should have known. We’re never asking her opinion again.”

Most of the time I truly don’t care; there is very little that I don’t enjoy. For me, the fun part is getting out and spending time with people. The rest is just a garnish.

But on this particular Saturday, I knew this opportunity to make a choice was both a gift and a fun challenge. So I smiled back at Cheryl and said, “Let me think about it.”

By the time we got to the church parking lot, I’d stopped hyperventilating (okay, it wasn’t quite that dramatic) and came up with something. “I know what I want. You know what sounds really good right now? Breakfast pudding at The Sideboard. I know it’s crowded and loud, and it’s always hard to find a table, but today I don’t care.”

“Okay. That’s where we’ll go.”

And we did. For a moment it looked like we wouldn’t be able to find parking.

“If this doesn’t work out we can always go to the bagel place.” I think I just made a second decision. I better stop before Cheryl passes out from shock at the wheel.

We finally found a parking space. When we got inside we found a perfect table in a shady corner of the patio. Anyone who has gone to The Sideboard on a Saturday morning knows this is a literal miracle. It felt like a reward from God. I am now convinced that angels with swords surrounded the table, ready to fight off anyone who tried to nab it. “Be gone! This table has been chosen by God for Jeanette. This is a big day for her. She just made a decision.”

I know this is probably a cliché, but that was the best breakfast pudding and coffee ever.

Some hard things just take a little practice I guess.

 

If you are one who has a hard time making a choice, what is the reason? Or maybe you struggle with something else. How has God provided you with opportunities to push past your fear, the need to please, or some other obstacle?