Help Make Christmas Sweeter

Dec 3, 2015 by Jeanette Hanscome

On Saturday, Mom and I decorated the house for Christmas while Dad and Nate hung lights outside. I popped open my container of ornaments and decorations that still held a mix of two different lives, including stockings from the first Christmas after my husband left. I’d decided we needed new ones but couldn’t afford anything fancy, so I bought three cheap faux fur stockings from Walmart and embroidered (well, sort of) our names on them. At first I just wanted to get the holidays over with. Then, as God filled the season with reminders of His presence, I sensed Him nudging me to savor it instead. There would never be another Christmas like this one and I wouldn’t want to miss out on how He showed up in unique ways. I’m so glad I paid attention. To this day I consider 2011 the sweetest Christmas that the boys and I ever spent together.

Looking back, it felt like every friend we had got a special notice from God reminding them that this would be a hard holiday season for us and made up their minds to do one thing to make it a little better. Those little things added up and made a huge difference.

Do you have a single mom in your life, or someone else who is facing a Christmas filled with sadness and change? Maybe you are wondering how to help. Here are a few things that stand out in my memory as particularly special.

Invitation – We spent that first difficult Thanksgiving with my friend Susan’s family. When Christmas drew closer, my friend Kim made it clear that if anything prevented me and the boys from taking the train to the Bay Area as planned, we were welcome at her house.

There is something comforting about knowing you don’t need to be alone when everyone else is having fun. Even if your friend can’t take you up on the offer to join you for dinner on Christmas Eve or to your New Year party, trust me, the invitation will be appreciated.

Note: also keep in mind special holiday events. Perhaps she would like to go with you so she doesn’t have to walk in alone.

Secret surprises – The boys and I were blessed with many gifts that Christmas—movie tickets, gift cards, a beautifully-wrapped set of books left on our porch, and of course the now-famous 12 Days of Christmas box. Almost every one came anonymously. As badly as I wanted to know who to thank, the mystery made it even more fun.

Leave a card or small gift on her Bible during church (that’s where I found one); slip something into her mailbox (it’s always nice to find something there besides a bill); have flowers or a box of treats delivered to her house. Surprises don’t need to be expensive, just thoughtful. In fact, if you can leave this friend wondering, “Who knows I love these?” it’s even more fun. Whoever put the 12 Days of Christmas box together clearly knew about my popcorn addiction, and that I pop it from scratch on the stove, because we got four big containers of it.

[bctt tweet=”Surprises don’t need to be expensive, just thoughtful.”]

Permission to not feel merry – Those who were truly sensitive to my situation understood that no number of presents could make up for what my sons and I had lost. Moments when friends responded to my sadness with a hug or taking time out of their Christmas madness to listen felt like gifts in themselves.

If you notice that your friend is fighting back tears, be that person who provides comfort. If you invite her to your Christmas party and she seems hesitant, make sure she understands that she is not expected to slap on a holiday smile—that if she needs to be quiet, slip into the other room for a minute, or leave early it’s completely okay.

I still thank God for the countless friends who made Christmas 2011 much more beautiful than we expected it to be. This week, ask the Lord to inspire you to show His love to someone who needs it.

[bctt tweet=”This week, ask the Lord to inspire you to show His love to someone who needs it.”]