Books I Can’t Wait to Fill Up

Dec 5, 2013 by Jeanette Hanscome

The other night, I sat at my monthly critique group meeting feeling a bit sad. We were actually having a great time. We worked in a mini Christmas party complete with writing-related gifts. The melancholy moment hit when one of my friends opened a great little journal that triggered a conversation about writing down lines from books. I remembered that I used to do just that. I used to have a set of spiral-bound 3×5 cards near my desk especially for favorite quotes and Bible verses. Someone mentioned loving Annie Dillard, and I remembered the days when I used to read her books and others like them. Not only that, but I could follow what these brilliant authors were talking about. A thought that has plagued me for weeks replayed in my mind:

I used to be so much smarter!

And it’s true. Over the course of the past few drama-filled years, the intelligence got sucked right out of my head. Circumstances that I won’t go into right now zapped my mental energy and subjected my brain to things that changed it. I spent much of this past year “getting my voice” back, as I call it (meaning my writing voice). As I sat there with my dear writer friend, I felt like the next item on my list would be reclaiming my ability to think like I used to. No, I wanted to think better than I used to!

God, I want my brain back, I privately prayed.

I sensed Him prompting me to stop complaining and take steps toward retraining my brain. By the time the party ended, I’d decided to start with buying a notebook for jotting down quotes and great lines from books. Within minutes I decided to get a second one for writing down Bible verses. It felt great to make up my mind to do it, and even better to toss two spiral-bound 3×5 card stacks and a set of two mini journals into my shopping basket at Target. These are books that I can’t wait to fill up!

I guess you can say I made my New Year’s resolution early.

This experience reminded me that, when life trips us up in ways that leave us forever altered, we can either wallow over the idea that we will never be the same or ask God to help us repair the damage. When we opt for Choice #2, we can look forward to the excitement of not only reclaiming what we lost, but discovering incredible new things in the process.

In many ways, I feel like my future is as blank as the notebooks I just bought, but today as I eagerly await the discovery of that first quote or verse, I feel confident that it will eventually be filled with some great material!

If you were to make an early New Year’s resolution, what would it be? What damage would you like God to help you repair?

Note: The journal in the picture above is not one of my new notebooks. It’s actually the famous Cabin Journal. I’ll blog about that another time.