5 Things I’ve Learned about This Thing Called Love

May 4, 2019 by Jeanette Hanscome

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I can’t take full credit for the catchy title above; I borrowed the last half from the Blackhawk Chorus. We are getting ready to perform our spring concerts, and the theme is “This Thing Called Love.” Guess what our repertoire consists of!

[bctt tweet=”Blackhawk Chorus is getting ready to perform our spring concerts. The theme is “This Thing Called Love.” ” username=”JHanscomeWriter”]

A couple years ago, or even last year, the idea of spending an entire semester singing love songs would not have been my idea of a good time. Songs like “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and the theme from Ice Castles would’ve only reminded me of what I no longer had in my life: a husband to share it with. By the time our performance dates rolled around, I would have gotten over it, but not before leaving rehearsal sad at least once and having to discuss what this was bringing up for me (a lot) with my therapist.

This year, however, I’m enjoying the chance to sing sweet, sometimes super-cheesy (which is part of the charm of old love songs) lyrics. One of our selections—“Can’t Take My Eyes off of You”—became a hit the year I was born, and another—“Love is Here to Stay”—is older than my parents. So fun! I discovered that the trick to getting into “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” is to stop critiquing the words, just like I had to do with “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” last Christmas and “Mississippi Mud” last spring. It’s a hazard of being a writer and editor—too much knowledge of the craft can not only ruin the experience of reading books sometimes, it can also wreck songs, so I’m trying not to let that happen. Just as I’m learning not to let painful past experience ruin love for me.

In 2016, loved was my word for the year. I spent those twelve months paying attention to how God showed me, “You are loved.” Since Then, God has continued to help me see love differently. I’ve learned that…

• It’s about more than romance. Not that the romantic kind of love isn’t great. But no longer having it has deepened my appreciation for the love of good friend, family, and especially the unending love of God. If we have any of the above in our lives, we are loved.

• 

  I love my friends from Blackhawk Chorus.

• Love is shown through actions more than words. It feels wonderful to hear “I love you,” but we know who truly loves us by how they treat us. They are the people who come over when life unravels and continue to hang out with us when that crisis leaves us broken and clingy. They uplift us instead of throwing jabs and expecting us to have a good sense of humor about it. We can be ourselves around these people and express our honest opinions and feelings. If they find out they hurt us, they apologize, and if we hurt them, they forgive us. They have an eerie knack for buying the perfect gifts—they know us that well.   
• Love has healing powers. My friend Mary DeMuth says, “What wounds us is what heals us.” So if we get burned by a friend, God will use another friend to heal that deep hurt. I could write multiple blog posts about the wounds He has healed through the love of sisters in Christ, new communities, and even experiences in the chorus I’m singing love songs with. This kind of love restores our faith in people, revives our ability to trust, and replaces bad memories with beautiful ones.
• It doesn’t take much. Sometimes, for me, all it takes to say, “I love you,” is offering me a ride before I have a chance to ask. All a person really needs is a word or gesture that reminds them that they matter—that they are worth our time, that someone thought about them, that we see and get them.
• When you feel it, express it. Not only because we never know what tomorrow or even today holds, but because chances are, that person might desperately need what your encouraging words. While getting ready for a writers’ conference, I stumbled upon a Facebook thread where two ladies were talking about me, and they were saying such nice things! What they didn’t know was, I get nervous and insecure right before teaching at conferences. Their words helped erase some of my insecurity. Remembering how those comments impacted me motivate me to spread love around generously instead of saving kind words for someone’s memorial service.

My list could be even longer, but these five are great reminders that love is something to celebrate whether we have a special person in our lives or not.

[bctt tweet=”Love is something to celebrate whether we have a special person in our lives or not.” username=”JHanscomeWriter”]

So, if you live in the Bay Area, come celebrate love with the Blackhawk Chorus! We are performing on May 5, 11, and 17. Here is the link for tickets. If you attend, let me know so I can look for you afterward.

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